I am a fruit fly.
No I do not have a hundred eyes, fly with little wings, or subsist on rotting apples. I referred to myself as a fag hag for many years (and still occasionally do), but the term “fag hag” has taken on some rather unsavory implications. Depending on who you ask for a definition, a fag hag can simply be any girl who hangs around with gay men, or a fat, ugly, beastly, and controlling psycho-bitch looking to convert every homosexual male within a 50 mile radius into a straight man she can finally have.
Unfortunately, too many of the fag hags I’ve met in my life actually sort of fit that second description, thus leaving the rest of us with a reputation to recover from.
I am not that kind of fag hag. In trying to explain this to one of the boys at the store one night, he told me he would call me a fruit fly. And that suits me just fine. So now, I try to remember to call myself a fruit fly. The big logo at the top of the page helps some.
So what is a fruit fly exactly?
Apparently, the term “fruit fly” in the gay community once simply referred to a gay man, but it would seem this has fallen out of use in more recent times. More often, you will find the term fruit fly defined as being another way to describe a fag hag. I’ve searched the web for a suitable definition of fruit fly to refer to here, but I can’t quite find one that really works for me.
So, without further ado, I present to you my own special encyclopedia entry for fruit fly (a definition just doesn’t seem to cut it):
Fruit fly, noun:
A heterosexual female who prefers the company of homosexual men; similar to fag hag but with more positive connotations. She will befriend many gay men in her lifetime, usually having one specific “best” gay male friend, but will not fall in love with gay men, nor attempt to control their lives in any manner. She will provide companionship, friendship, and a female point of view when crisis arises, and will generally be a hell of a lot of fun when times are good. She will be a proud and outspoken supporter of the gay community and will take only a similarly supportive heterosexual male as her partner, though she will also have a life outside of the gay community because she is a well rounded type female. She will also, unlike many fag hags, find common ground with lesbians and also enjoy their company.
Ok, so maybe I’m just describing myself. But, um, you get the idea.